Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im six kinds of drunk right now
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize