yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
