I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
