pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Can Purell be used as lube?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
