Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
