Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
