Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
