I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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