I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
