i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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