She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
