my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
