im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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