It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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