the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
