I think I am morally bankrupt
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
so much tequila, so little girl.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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