thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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