margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
