I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
