So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
