he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
