I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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