We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
