OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
they need to just BURY HIM!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
