the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
