I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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