I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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