There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize