Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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