I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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