pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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