I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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