You're so nebulous sometimes
Screwed.edu
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize