Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
