I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
