He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
