What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize