What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize