just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
