Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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