My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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