Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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