great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
