you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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