i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
