next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
