I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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