I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
