She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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