He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
