Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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