She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize