I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
