I must be too annoying 4 u.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
